Over the years, I have enjoyed getting together with parents with kids just a little bit older than mine. Early on, I decided to ask these parents what they wish they had done differently. Out of those conversations was born some interesting and timeless parenting advice.
One idea in particular really stuck out to me: Don’t negate the power of drive time with your kids. I remember these parents wistfully pondering how they missed driving with their kids, who were all now old enough to get around themselves.
Now, if you're anything like me, that's easier said than done because I feel more like a taxi driver sometimes than a dad. With my 10-year-old playing travel soccer and being a social butterfly, my life gets filled with drop-offs at soccer practice, long drives to game days, a seemingly endless birthday party rotation and sleepovers at friends’ houses. Then you add in my 13-year-old who is busy with school sports, school functions, Blue Ridge middle school events, small groups, and his job as a soccer referee … needless to say, I put some miles on the old Mazda. When I was 16, I never thought I’d get sick of driving, but I think I’m almost there.
Additionally, I can be busy, which makes me distant, taking phone calls and fixing the problems of the world. Sometimes I’m just in a crabby mood, because once again, I’m driving them somewhere. Sometimes, I’m just in a hurry because their schedule is inconvenient with mine.
All of these things make me miss an undeniable fact: Drive Time = Talk Time. I’ve come to realize that some of our best conversations happen in the car.
There’s a sense of safety that my boys feel because they’re talking from the backseat, or we’re both looking straight ahead. That takes the conversation to a new level FAST!
This change in attitude and perspective for something that is so central to our lives right now has been great!
When I know I need to talk with my boys about something, I can plan in my mind for the next trip to have that conversation. It’s amazing how it works. Heck! I had THE conversation with my 13-year-old in a car while driving to Ohio to go see the Ohio State Buckeyes. It was 7 hours of amazing conversation about what he knew, what he didn’t, his fears, excitements and curiosities.
So, the next drive that comes up… remember your son or daughter will be wanting to drive themselves soon and you’ll be at home alone. Use that drive time. Turn off the radio, ignore the incoming call and engage your son or daughter in some great conversation.
Not sure where to start? Try these questions:
- What was the high point of your day?
- What was the low point of your day?
- If you had a million dollars what would you buy and why?
- If there was a soundtrack for your life, what would be playing right now?
- If you could do one thing and you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you do?
In a few years, you’ll be glad you did!