We’re all a bit prone toward a manufacturing mindset. That we get out what we put in. But as Christ followers, we are not making widgets, we are growing in a relationship, a relationship with our Creator.
Along the way, many of us experience a time in our lives that I, and many others, have called a “dark night of the soul.”
This name comes from a poem written by 16th-century Spanish poet and monk, Saint John of the Cross, who was imprisoned by his Carmelite brothers for his reformist efforts. The poem describes his journey through this world toward God.
For me, it describes those times in your life when you don't know where God is, when you don't “feel” Him. It can be bewildering, because we often have a view of our relationship as linear, that it should get better and better.
But there may be times you desperately want God and He feels far away.
Don’t misunderstand. There are times when God is silent because of sin, idolatry or laziness in our lives. When that happens, you should recognize it and address it.
But when you know that’s not the case, you may be walking through a “dark night of the soul.” God may be using it to help you desire Him more.
While it can feel painful, it can also be beneficial. A dark night of the soul can teach us to love God for Who He is, not just His benefits.
God wants us to enjoy Him. He wants us to grow in Him.
Think of it like this: When we come to Christ, we’re like tiny babies. Babies depend on their mothers for everything and the mother comes every time the baby cries. As the baby learns to stand, the mother holds his hands and stays close. But in time, the mother will give the child some distance, allowing him to learn to walk. The child would never learn to walk if the mother held his hands all the time.
We also see how some silence is good in relationship. They don’t say “absence makes the heart grow fonder” for nothing. When you’ve been away from your love, you long for him or her in a way you wouldn’t if you were constantly connected.
The dark night of the soul is further evidence that we are not yet home, and that we should not be so easily satisfied with this world. It can be seen as part of our spiritual journey, not an end.
Many people have experienced this kind of silence, including Martin Luther and C.S. Lewis. I’ve felt it. I remember being in a wonderful worship service a number of years ago, desperately wanting to feel a part of it, and feeling nothing.
We think trying harder will change things, but that’s not always true.
Avoid the temptation to “fix” it by doing more. We tend to want to read more, pray more, do more. But the truth is that we may need to sit quietly and wait without “doing” anything additional.
Instead, continue to do what you know to do. Stay in the Word, in community and in prayer. Ask others to walk with you and intercede for you.
The good news is that God promises that when we seek Him with all our heart we will find Him. Keep walking toward God, keep seeking His face, no matter what “dark night” you are facing.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
— 1 Peter 5:6-7